Double Take

Taking a second look at life experiences

7 Revealing Signs That You’re Not The Age You Said You Are

This is an age test. Do you know what this is?

This is an age test. Do you know what this is?

Most people over the age of 35, when asked how old they feel, give an age approximately 7 years younger than they actually are.

This has been tested numerous times, by the people who test those kinds of things.

But how is it that most people feel this way? Do we all just live in denial? (Don’t answer that, it’s a dangerous question).

You know when you’re getting up there in age when guessing celebrities’ ages becomes a satisfying and fun activity.  Especially when you ask Siri and she answers you on the spot, not judging how many times you actually ask her to do this. She doesn’t ponder this question at all “Doesn’t she have anything better to do than ask me how old people are”? 

An even more engaging past-time is naming the different types of cosmetic procedures someone might have had. “Hair extensions, definitely”. “Botox. You can see it, right there.” “Breast Enhancements, trust me.” You do this while watching one of the voice, dancing, or talent shows that tend to feature people who have had the work you’ve been talking about.

So, here is more items on my checklist if you want to quickly assess whether you’re really 7 years older than you told that person you were:

  1. You hate the word  “sucks” and actually miss the days when people would go around saying “that just stinks” about something they didn’t like. Back then, you definitely got the idea, and even might have had an unsavory picture in your mind based on what exactly it was that stunk. You find no need for its replacement with a word that connotes all kinds of problematic images about the activity of sucking.
  2. You look back in disbelief when, approaching a door in a public place, and actually in reaching distance, someone quite younger than you barrels right past you, (as if you were walking below the posted speed limit for pedestrian walking), pushing themselves in first.
  3. You don’t use as many apps on your phone as you should. In fact, those at least half your age regularly use twice as many apps on  their phones as you do.
  4. You actually use a thing called a radio (excluding streaming services). If you use it as an alarm, to hear the news, or to listen to music, it belongs on this list. You can’t say it’s an app, now can you?
  5. You, like me, cringe when you read highly personal information on Facebook. For instance, it is a continual question why married people wish each other Happy Anniversary in a public forum. After all, if they have such a happy marriage, don’t they live together? Couldn’t they just have wished themselves a Happy Anniversary in person?
  6. Deep, deep in a closet somewhere, are dusty remnants of one or more of these ancient artifacts:  cassette tapes and/or player, VHS tapes and/or player, CD’s or CD player, or heaven forbid (and this object might just put you on another list entirely….) 8 track tapes. Notice I didn’t mention vinyl records, now a collector’s item. Those old enough to have them never, ever described them by the material they were made from. They were just records.  (If people reading this are wondering what those things actually are, well, you can google it).
  7. Feeling real good about something you bought at a store, you tell another person under the said age of 35 about your coup. You slap the side of your head and lamely say “Oh Yea” when they say, quite astonishingly “Oh, I’m surprised you actually went to the store for that, they sell that online at ____________.”

 

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